The Pure Life of Dreams

May 6, 2025May 13, 2025

Her Mouth Contorted With Rage

It started when Siobhan became annoyed with my attempts to help her on her computer.

She gritted her teeth in an ugly way that I had not seen before, her mouth contorted in a rectangle and her cheeks sinewed with anger, and she spat at me that she didn’t want my help. I was taken aback by her fierce expression and it made think to stop so I left and mumbled something loud enough for her to hear that she was being rude.

I left the house, and as I was leaving she suggested I go to the zoo.

The zoo was in Wimbledon but I went anyway and, as a peace offering, I thought to bring back pizza after my visit.

I was sitting on the train headed for the zoo when I realised how far I was from home; and it became clear that any pizza I would pick up at the zoo would be cold by the time I brought back the pies.

Upon my arrival at the zoo, I stood in the entrance hall. Through the doorway I could see the animals playing. I asked the door keeper if I could just order pizza now instead of going in.

‘It’s not usual,’ he said. But then he said it was ok and I called Siobhan to say that I would bring back pizza but it would take forty-five minutes to get back after it was delivered to the zoo.

‘Perhaps it’s better I pick it up in Ealing.’ I offered. ‘That way it won’t be cold.’

She got annoyed at my remark and snapped at me not to bother so I left the zoo without ordering pizza. I walked along a pavement alongside of the road that led away from the zoo then I turned left onto another street where there lay a large open green space on the opposite side of the road.

I passed by a woman in a white fur coat sitting on a bench.

The sun was already setting.

The woman’s coat looked like it came from a thrift shop. The woman had long black hair that was a bit natty and she seemed upset. I sat down on the bench next to her. For some reason I thought she was Russian. The woman lay her head on my shoulder and I asked her what was the matter. Then she turned to me and we kissed softly although she was much younger than me, being perhaps in her twenties.

Then two Indian men came by and started to argue with the woman. They were about her age, shorter than me and a little stinky. They wore shades. They told the woman to come with them and she stood up to leave.

As the woman walked away I saw that she left some keys on the bench. I got up to hand them to her just as she was leaving although it occurred to me that she’d left them intentionally. But the woman span round as she walked away and indicated that there was a phone there too. So I sat back down on the bench, and sure enough, tucked behind a white seat cushion was a pink older model smartphone.

I started typing on the phone and the keys did not work well but still I got the words out that she would be ok. I don’t know why I wrote that. After I’d finished typing the two Indian men came back, and this time they had a third man with them, the same age as them.

They saw me with the phone. One of them snagged the white cable attached to the phone and tried to pull it away from me. At first I held on but then I figured I didn’t need the cable so I let it go and the cable came loose from the phone.

I followed the men to a house where I figured I could take them on, for all three of them looked stocky and unfit.

They stood together in a dark hall that led to a wooden barn and despite the darkness of the hallway the first two still wore their shades. Only the third man did not wear shades because he wore regular glasses.

The three of them crowded around me so I tried to push the the third man’s glasses off his head. Even though they were close they still did not seem threatening so I swiped again at the man with the glasses. And with each attempt to knock the glasses off his head he ducked just enough that I would miss. So I tried again, this time aiming to get two of the men with one swipe.

Then I tried again. Then I tried again.

Photo by Isabelle Carin via Pexels.

April 25, 2025July 16, 2025

Dirty Fingernails

I saw a woman seated at the entrance to the hotel. She had a dark complexion, long black hair and a black dress, and her fingernails were dirty with the remains of clawed at Indian snake. I wanted to be with her.

April 17, 2025April 17, 2025

At the Kensington with Srba

Siobhan and I were to meet Srba for a late lunch. It was her first introduction to him.

The hotel was the Kensington, and it had ornate gold inlaid chairs and white linen tablecloths and napkins—not our usual meeting place. We arrived early to find a separate room, or at least a separate area, where we could eat in private.

The restaurant fronted the side of the hotel and was long rather than deep, with a glass façade that overlooked the entrance where the cars would drive up to the reception doors. The side rooms were at the back.

At first we were told there weren’t any open tables.

Siobhan knew we should have made a reservation before showing up.

I stood at the podium at the front of restaurant while Siobhan walked through the main room to double check for spaces. The room was dark lit with tabletop candelabra and crowded with the subdued sounds of silverware.

After I tired of waiting I followed her after her, only to discover that was she had settled at a two person table that was pressed against another table which sat four.

‘Why did you get only a table for two?’ I asked. Siobhan was wearing a fluffy pink sweater, and I wondered what Srba would think of that.

‘They didn’t have private rooms,’ she replied.

I sat down.

‘We can use the table next to us when they leave?’ she suggested. Siobhan nodded to the group of four by our side, but they were already getting up to go. Their napkins had been tossed haphazardly on their table.

I scanned the room to see if there was a better place and saw that the room was half empty. We have the pick of tables now that the lunch crowd is leaving, I thought. But are we too late to order?

Just then I saw Srba through the glass façade of the restaurant walking along the reception driveway. He wore a dark blue suit, a dark red tie and white shirt. Srba was still big, but also tall and in his hand he carried a briefcase and a wine bottle gift bag.

‘He’s bigger than you said,’ said Siobhan after I pointed him out—before he disappeared behind the open curtains of the restaurant’s glass front.

As Srba headed towards the entrance I hurried back to the podium to greet him. Siobhan got up to follow.

‘She’s taller than Sophie’, Srba said, as he looked over at Siobhan.

I grabbed him in a bear hug, just as he was about to extend his hand for a handshake.

My face was up against the crook of his neck as I hugged him and I raised my left leg, so that my shin rested comfortably against his inner thigh.

~~’Ox-fuck Street, Pick-a-Willy Circus, or Tottenham Cunt Road, wouldn’t do?’ I asked.~~

We hugged so closely that I felt the smooth skin of his jowls.

RIP ~~Srba Cvetkovic~~ Srba C

April 11, 2025July 26, 2025

Argentinian Alice with the Thick Hair

Siobhan and I stood in the center of the room and looked around. Behind us there was a woman in a yellow dress. She was a local, an Argentine, and when I looked back at her again, I saw that her pubic area was naked and was covered with thick black cotton balls that hid her vagina. The shape of that cotton ball hair was a little off from a regular isosceles triangle because the right side was slightly longer than the left.

Through the door and along one side of the next room, up on bleacher steps, in a corner, sat two couples, one couple on the next step up from the other. The women were pressed against the wall by their men who sat facing them. The couples were naked, and obese, and their blanched flesh hung loose around them, while the man of each couple buried his head in the folds of flesh on the chest of his partner.

(At first I thought the two people against the wall were women but so obese they were I could not be sure – fat pasty white skin dripped from all four people and disguised the shape of each person’s sex.)

When the man on the top step pulled away from his mate I saw a necklace with a thin gold strap and green pendant hung around her neck. He must have been sucking on the pendant, I thought.

Of course Siobhan wasn’t having any of this.

She wandered off into the next room and I would follow soon after. The woman in the yellow dress, would follow with me. I learnt that her name was Alice.

It became clear to me that we should indulge these locals, pay them a few pesos but with Siobhan around, payment would be unlikely. I lost track of her after the next room and had to use the locator app on my iPhone to find out where she’d gone.

The next area was outdoors, but it seemed that Siobhan had disappeared to the main enclosure where there lay a circle of prehistoric stones. I hurried through to find her but was sidetracked once more by a room off to one side, where there were gathered more prostitutes.

As I walked in I thought that we should be offering money to them too, for their nakedness.

This time I wanted to broach one of the women. I walked along the corridor, and it was lined with bamboo walls and bamboo benches on either side. Couples sat on the benches and wrapped their arms around each others’ naked bodies – men indulging in local women this time, for sure.

I returned to the main room and stepped into the enclosure where the stone circle lay, but Siobhan had already moved along. I hurried under a stone arch at the far end of the enclosure, and went through to the next area, where there were trees covered with black monkeys who sat on the branches and looked mischievously down at me.

At first I wondered whether to put away my phone in case the monkeys would steal it, but instead I took a picture.

To one side of a tree was Siobhan, in a grove to the left of the entrance. She was surrounded by the monkeys. I raised my camera and took a picture which perfectly framed her, and the monkeys around her, and the tree with its snaking branches.

As I turned away from Siobhan, she cried out, “Take a picture of me!”

“I already did.” I replied. “A perfect one.”

Picture by Modigliani uploaded by Benoît Prieur to WikiMedia Commons.

March 30, 2025April 25, 2025

Dark Room Reunion in New York City

We sit in a darkened hotel room in New York City, curtains drawn, Siobhan and I, and I’m in my undershirt and blue boxers.

We are waiting for the arrival of Ruth and FG from the UK.

I haven’t seen them since way back when, and I’m excited to see them again after all this time. When I hear their voices in the corridor I wonder whether to put on trousers because I have a slight erection from the anticipation.

It’s too late. The door swings opens and Ruth comes in first followed closely by John who at first I think is FG’s husband but, up close, I realize that he is Ruth’s husband.

As Ruth walks towards me, I come round the side of the bed, squeezing between the bed and the TV sideboard. I must lean forwards to greet her, I realize, to keep my boxers away from our hug, so that she won’t detect my arousal.

We have a delicious hug, my arms wrapped around the curve of her shoulders, and she kisses me on the cheek. Her dark curly hair is still black despite our ages. It brings back cozy memories of the past, though we never had a thing. It was the writing that was our bond. And suddenly, it doesn’t seem to matter that I’m in my boxers.

Then John, a big burly man, comes up to me and we have a big handshake and a brief hug. It’s good to see him too though we’ve never met before.

Behind John is FG. The cold light of the hotel corridor is behind her and I have fully circled the bed. I am now closer to the door when she and I hug.

FG and I have an even tighter embrace, for she was my first girlfriend, and the memories there are even stronger. Her soft curls are darker than the ginger I remember of her hair then. She smells of Pears soap and fields of sunflowers.

FG and I kiss on the cheeks but in our tight embrace, we fall onto the bed and her crow like black eyes look at me, as if she can see into my memories, or worse, she sees the picture I don’t want seen, developing in the orange light of her photographer’s tray. Her soft curls feel like a down pillow on my cheeks.

We roll across the bed and accidentally, roll off the other side, the side closest to the window. I push out a leg to break the fall as we hold onto each other, and with my ~~right~~ left leg planted on the prickly carpet I stop us from falling to the floor.

Instead, with our bodies hugging in a friendly way, the way of old friends but with a hint of what could have been – only a hint mind – everything seems alright.

Photo by Danny Birchall via Flickr.